Confronting Your Feelings
by Catherine4
Summary: Susan/Peter friendship fic
1. Default Chapter

Note: Please don't be picky about the fact that Cleo left before Peter found out that Reese wasn't his son! I don't care!!!!!!!!! :P  
  
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"What have we got?"  
  
"9 year old male, Dean Pearson, got run over by a delivery van outside his house. He's in respiratory arrest. His father rode in with us."  
  
Susan met the paramedics outside in the ambulance bay and wheeled the boy into the trauma room. He was unconscious and had a large gash on his forehead. As well as having trouble breathing, he had a suspected rib fracture.  
  
His father was walking along behind them. He was wearing a plaid check shirt and jeans and had an unshaven face, hidden underneath his baseball cap. He lit up a cigarette, looking extremely fed up and like he would rather be somewhere else entirely.  
  
"Page surgery", Susan called as she worked on resuscitating the child and one of the nurses picked up the phone in the corner of the room and dialled.  
  
Susan had been joined by Cleo in the room and they, along with Abby and several other nurses were rushing around trying to treat the child. He was now conscious but in a bad way.  
  
"It's not working", Cleo admitted, after trying a variety of different tactics to try and make it easier for the boy to breathe. "We'll have to inturbate him."  
  
"Want to call the father in first?" asked Abby.  
  
Yeah, I'll go and get him."  
  
Cleo stepped outside and met Peter running down the corridor  
  
"Trauma 1" she told him, on her way to find the boy's father before it was too late. She found him outside, smoking his cigarette.  
  
"Mr Pearson?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah?" He seemed very hostile and angry.  
  
"Your son's in a bad way, we're going to have to inturbate him. Do you want to talk to him before we do?"  
  
"You bet I do." He threw his cigarette down angrily and stormed through the admit area with Cleo chasing after him, trying to calm him down.  
  
"You stupid idiot, what the hell were you doing?" He burst through the doors to the trauma room and was yelling violently at his frightened, near- unconscious son.  
  
"Sir, I really think you need to..." Now Susan tried to calm him down with no effect.  
  
"I told you not to go outside. I'm late for work because of you!"  
  
"Get him out of here."  
  
"Come with me sir", coaxed Abby and tried to lead him out of the room but he paid no attention and pushed her out of the way and continued to yell at his son.  
  
"Call security", Susan told a nurse.  
  
"No need, I'll talk to him."  
  
Peter followed the man out of the door and started shouting at him in the hallway.  
  
"What do you think you're doing? Your son nearly died and all you can think of is loosing your job?"  
  
"He has to learn his lesson. He's always disobeying me."  
  
"That's no excuse. You should take responsibility."  
  
"I never asked to be a father."  
  
"What?!" The man turned and started to walk away but Peter grabbed his arm forcefully and refused to let him leave. "Being a parent is the most precious thing in the world. Many people would kill to have a child of their own. You don't know when you're going to loose your kids so be damn thankful while they're still around."  
  
The man scoffed at Peter and walked away. It was clear that none of Peter's words got through to him.  
  
The staff treating the boy could hear every word of Benton's little outburst through the partially open door.  
  
Susan went outside to confront Peter about his behaviour, despite Cleo's bet efforts to stop her.  
  
"What on earth was that? That's no way to speak to the patients!  
  
Cleo joined them outside. "Susan, don't..."  
  
"No, why the hell did you react like that?"  
  
"Leave it..." Cleo warned. She knew why Peter was acting like this.  
  
"Don't..." Peter was trying to search for the words. "You don't know anything about my life."  
  
He turned and walked slowly towards the elevator, leaving Susan and Cleo standing in the hallway.  
  
"That really wasn't a good idea", Cleo told her colleague. "I wouldn't wind him up."  
  
"Why, what's wrong?"  
  
"Oh God... It's really not my place to say."  
  
Cleo knew she shouldn't share his feelings with anyone else but she was backed into a corner. She should have just kept her mouth shut.  
  
"He's just found out that Reese isn't his son" she finally said. "And Roger is fighting him for custody."  
  
Susan sighed. She had really put her foot in it. He must be going through hell. what was she going to say to him? 


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! This is the second part of a story I uploaded aaaaaaaaages ago but never got around to finishing. This chapter isn't technically mine because Jo (Author of Always and Forever) Wrote this chapter for me! Thank you Jo! :D Credit where credit's due! Nothing to do with me! All compliments and/or complaints (!) Send her way! ;)  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"Peter?" Susan approached the emotional man cautiously. She didn't want to upset him more than she had to. He just stood still, clutching his, by now cold, coffee in his hands and staring out from the rooftop over the busy city.  
  
"Hi," he replied in his usual quiet tone.  
  
"Coffee cold?" He nodded, facing away from her out towards the city. "I figured you'd be needing another one by no," she stepped forward, handing him one of the two cardboard cups she was holding. He set the old coffee down on the wall before taking a sip from the new cup. He relished the taste of the warm dark liquid sliding down his throat, and breathed in deeply, inhaling the strong aroma of coffee.  
  
"Thanks." His hands were now wrapped tightly around the cup, taking warmth from it. They stood in silence for a few minutes, each sipping at their coffee.  
  
"I'm sorry, Peter," Susan finally said, staring out across the city from her position next to him.  
  
"Yeah, well, I shouldn't have got so heated with the guy, her just."  
  
"It's understandable," she interrupted him. He turned slightly so that he was looking at her, and watched her for a few moments.  
  
"Cleo told you, didn't she?" he asked, turning back to his previous position.  
  
"Yeah." She paused, watching the dull mist slowly dissipating across the city. "It wasn't Cleo's fault Peter, I pushed her too much. Don't be mad at her."  
  
"Don't worry about it. You would have found out soon enough anyway - gossip spreads like fire in that place." Susan nodded in agreement, and then stood silently, waiting for him to talk. She didn't want to push him: it was best that he open up in his own time. "There was always that thought in the back of my mind that he might not be mine," he said after a while. "But I just kept on dismissing it. At one point I was so close to taking a paternity test, but I didn't: it didn't seem important whether or not I was biologically related to him, just that I loved him."  
  
"Yeah." She took another sip of her coffee.  
  
"If I'd taken that test we could have sorted it all out when Carla was still alive. And now there's nothing I can do.  
  
"You can fight for your son."  
  
"He's not my son," he sighed.  
  
"Do you love him?" He nodded. "Then he's your son." Peter smiled at her, and then nodded again.  
  
"Are you always right?" he asked, laughing quietly.  
  
"I try to be," she returned. Once again they stood silently, sipping coffee and staring at the tower blocks.  
  
"I know how hard it is," Susan said, putting her now empty coffee cup down on the ground.  
  
"Thanks for trying to be sympathetic, but you can't possibly know how it is."  
  
"Do you remember Susie?" She dug her hands deep into her pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. Peter nodded in response.  
  
"Your sister's kid, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Chloe's hardly capable of being a mother to her though, she always puts herself first. Susie's just extra baggage."  
  
"Sounds a little harsh."  
  
"It's the truth. When Susie was first born I'd go to work, and then come home and look after her. It was like she was my own child. Chloe just expected me to take her, so that she could go out with her friends, and take whatever drugs she was hooked on at the time.  
  
"I never realised how much you were doing." Peter's cup now joined hers on the ground.  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. "At first I just put up with it because I felt some strange duty to Chloe. But then I realised that Susie needed someone to love her, and that wasn't the sort of love Chloe could give. I adored her from the day I first saw her, and then I got to loving her like she was my own." She stopped and sighed. "I'm more of a mother to her than Chloe could ever be."  
  
Peter stood silently, contemplating what his friend was saying. He knew Susan had been devoted to Susie: devoted enough to follow her sister across the country, leaving behind the man she loved. But he'd never known just how their relationship had been.  
  
"Chloe plays this stupid game with me. She'll leave Susie, and then come crashing back into our lives, grab her daughter, and leave. That's no way to behave when there's a child involved, is it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I've tried so many times to get custody, and I've come so close it's ridiculous. But Chloe always shows up, the perfect little mother, and then whisks her off somewhere new."  
  
"She shouldn't be allowed to be a mother."  
  
"Nature isn't picky about who is and isn't a mother." Susan smiled slightly. "Peter, you have to fight for Reese. Don't rest until you know your boy's safe with you, and do not five in. I told myself everything would be fine, and came traipsing back to Chicago. I haven't seen Susie in months, and goodness knows where she is. Never, ever give up, Peter." She stared up at the large man.  
  
"I don't know what I'd do without him."  
  
"Go fight for Reese." He nodded firmly, and smiled at her.  
  
"Thank you so much Susan," he said, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Go, Peter!" she laughed, pulling away from him. "And good luck."  
  
He smiled once more, before turning and walking towards the stairs. When he reached the door he turned round a looked at her. "I hope you get Susie back soon."  
  
"Chloe always comes running back for help." She turned back towards the cityscape, and listened as Peter's footsteps grew quieter and quieter. She watched the traffic far below, and the people going about their every day business. The cold morning breeze nipped around her ears, and she knew she had to go back inside before she froze. She leant down and picked up the empty coffee mugs, before looking out across the city once more. It felt like what she and Peter had said would carry along with the wind forever. With that in mind, she whispered one last though. "Please let it be soon." 


End file.
